Déguisée Raoul Cédras Pris essayant de récupérer le vieux Job
PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haïti - Le port d'une fausse moustache noire, ex-armée le général Raoul Cédras a été capturé lundi alors qu'il tentait de convaincre l'administration Martelly de le mettre en charge de la nouvelle armée, les responsables haïtiens dit.
“Shame on Cédras for carrying out such audacious plot,” said Thierry Mayard-Paul, Minister of Interior and National Defense. “Lucky for us all we didn’t hire him.”
Cédras, the former Lieutenant General responsible for the 1991 coup d’état that ousted President Jean-Bertrand Aristide, wore a self-adhesive fake mustache as a means to avoid being recognized by administration officials. In addition, the deposed military ruler daringly managed to enter the National Palace under the fictitious name, Caoul Rédras, to discuss his qualifications to lead the new armed force.
“In retrospect, we should have instantly picked it up on the name,” said Mayard-Paul, expressing remorse for the oversight. “In our defense, we were overwhelmed sorting through a huge stack of résumés.”
High-ranking officials told reporters that their suspicions initially arose the moment Cédras sat down for the interview. At one point, one of the officials asked, “you know, is it me or do you look a lot like ––” to which the ex-military officer quickly replied: “Let me guess. Like Cédras, right? I know. I get that a lot.” Following the response, Cédras hurriedly steered the conversation towards the interview and his experience.
“[Cédras] had us convinced for a while,” said Mayard-Paul. “He went on and on about how he was an experienced leader, a loyal team player and worked well with others.”
However, later in the interview, it became clear to officials that the former military strongman was not who he claimed to be. Unbeknownst to Cédras, his mustache started to peel away while trying to convince the interviewers that he would be a good fit for the position.
“We were beginning to think he was the right guy for the job,” Mayard-Paul said. “Until his mustache completely fell off. Makes me shiver to think he could’ve gotten away with it.”
Following a stern warning for pulling such a desperate stunt and wasting their valuable time, officials ordered Cedras to return to Panama where he has been living comfortably in exile since 1994.
“It’s unbelievable,” Mayard-Paul said. “The great lengths some people will go to in order to regain their grip on power.”
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