Oprah Surprises Haitians with Car Giveaway

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti – On a recent trip to Haiti, television talk-show queen Oprah Winfrey surprised the entire population of the Caribbean nation by giving each resident a free car.

“I have a surprise for you today,” said Winfrey speaking to a crowd in Champs-de-Mars. “Each one of you is going home today with a brand new car. You get a car! You get a car! Everybody gets a car!”

The unexpected announcement stunned and delighted spectators who came out to catch a glimpse of the billionaire media mogul.

“I’m speechless,” said former Brooklyn resident Sherline Laguerre who is enjoying retirement in her native land. “I’ve been a fan of Oprah for years. When I heard she was visiting the country, I thought I’d come to see her, maybe get her autograph or a picture with her. Would you believe it? Now I’m going home with a Mini Cooper.”

Later in the day, Winfrey traveled to other parts of the capital and the country taking thousands of unsuspecting citizens by surprise.

“I was stepping out of my house to go to the store when suddenly I got struck on the side of the head by a set of keys,” said Ardouin Edmond. “Next thing I knew I saw Oprah jumping up and shouting at me that I got a car. I think I may have a concussion.”

Though the 10-million-car giveaway is the largest gift handed out to date, Oprah is known for her grand gestures especially on her Oprah Winfrey Show where she routinely gave her audience gifts ranging from all-expenses paid vacations to gold and diamond necklaces. Observers estimate the monetary value of the latest giveaway represents a small fraction of Winfrey’s vast wealth.

As of press time, witnesses reported a huge spike in traffic congestion across the country.