‘You Can’t Go Out And Play Until You’ve Fixed The Economy,’ Says Garry Conille’s Mom

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti – Mother of newly ratified prime minister, Dr. Garry Conille, refuses to let her son go play outside until he turns the nation’s crippled economy around, friends reported.

“Today, we asked Garry to come out and have some fun with us,” said Carlo Forestal speaking of his best friend since childhood. “And he was like, ‘I can’t. My mom says I have to solve the current economic crisis.’”

According to long-time friends, Mrs. Conille has become far less lenient in recent days about how the newly appointed prime minister spends his time, reducing his television viewing and the amount of time he spends with friends.

“Ever since he became prime minister, Mrs. Conille has drastically cut back Garry’s activities so he can concentrate more on his new job,” said Forestal. “What a strict lady.”

“I really feel for the guy,” added Forestal. “He’s stuck in the house trying to come up with a comprehensive plan to revive the economy. Sucks to be him.”

When reached for comment, Mrs. Conille defended her actions by saying that she only wants her son to succeed in helping the impoverished country recover. Without close supervision, she said, her son will keep putting off his work.

Mrs. Conille went on to cite numerous instances in which she said her son attempted to avoid doing his work, including the time he claimed he did not have any ministerial projects, the time he said that his proposal to boost job creation was not due until next week, and the time he said he finished his education policy agenda, which he did not.

Dr. Conille, who was excited about the new post, admitted to close friends he is now having second thoughts over his decision. “Maybe it was a mistake to accept the nomination,” said Dr. Conille looking through the window and seeing all his friends having fun. “Now, mom won’t cut me a break until I show her that my economic plan is finished, correct and neat.”