Martelly Uses App To Remind He is President, Not Sweet Micky

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti – National Palace advisers acknowledged on Tuesday that Michel Martelly uses a smartphone application to remind him he is the nation’s president and no longer his lewd alter ego, Sweet Micky.

“After so many years performing as Sweet Micky, it’s not easy for Martelly to dispose of his former persona,” said former Chief of Staff Thierry Mayard-Paul. “This app really comes in very handy.”

According to Mayard-Paul, Martelly receives a brief text message every morning with the content ‘Don’t forget. You’re President.’ to remind him of his new role as the leader of the republic.

Sources close to Martelly told reporters the president made the decision to use the app after an episode in which he failed to remember he is the head of state, showed up dressed in typical Sweet Micky fashion for a cabinet meeting, and made biting and crude comments to his confused advisers.

At a press conference later in the day, a grateful Martelly credited the app for helping him not return to his old ways of using profanity and vulgarity. “I cannot tell you how many times in the last few weeks I woke up thinking I was Sweet Micky,” said Martelly. “If it wasn’t for this great little app, I’d be wearing a wig and cursing out everyone right about now.”

Following the success of the software, the National Palace IT department announced they are eagerly working on developing a newer version of the application. The latest update will send daily reminders to the president to rebuild the nation’s infrastructure, help reduce unemployment, improve the education system, provide adequate health services, maintain security and justice, and eliminate widespread corruption.

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